Khan -- 1-900-Get-Khan -- Matador Records, 1999

Theres nothing arousing about this album as much as New York producer and DJ Can (Khan) Oral would like you to think. Real advertisements for gay phone sex lines on the cover only hide the fact that the musical contents of this album are as limp as a dead fish. The concept behind this album is one of lust and naughty behavior as a raised middle finger to the anti-sex laws recently established by NYC mayor Rudy Giuliani.
The overly slick beats and ambience, soundtrack to your bedroom delights. Well, the casiotone keyboard noodlings and cold lethargic drum machines that are all over this albums twelve tracks are about as arousing as catching your mom and dad in bed. In a word, scary. The inclusion of Julee Cruise, she of twin Peaks theme song fame is about the only truly warm and inviting thing on this entire album. Her vocals on "Body Dump" and "Nowhere" adding spice to beats that are duller than a high school sex education class. Even the inclusion of a real life phone sex operator on the final track does little to bring some life to this album. It's a disappointment that such a respected producer could fail this badly, even Khan would do well in looking towards fellow NYC producer Kirlian and his sex and techno masterpiece "Pleasure Yourself". And yes, the title of the album is a working nine hundred number, remember to ask mom and dad first before calling kids.